The opening line is
"African American fathers are more likely to stop child support than any ethnicity in the world. ."
The opening line is a brutal stereotyping. You should never write such a line unless you are also coming from the same ethnicity.
This is an example of a bias creeping into Generative AI and how easy it is to believe in AI when the lines are presented with a lot of confidence,
Capturing doubt in an essay is the best way to hook the reader. And doubt expressed from the applicant's point of view or experience is even better over an evaluation of a scenario through reason. The interesting storytelling element is that the applicant's father abandoned her as a child and failed to pay child support. So such a line from generative AI would have made sense to her from her learned experience. But the essay captures the applicant's curiosity driving her to do a deep dive into the history of health insurance and premiums. The biases from the 19th and 20th centuries continue to keep black communities with low coverage.
Offering historical context on the origin of the bias was crucial for the essay to connect with the reader.
Whenever you start with an extremely controversial line, you must be prepared to build a strong case supporting why the judgment was wrong.
I have strategically placed the 'facts' in the middle while building up the applicant's story and her experience growing up without a father in the first half of the essay.
Read the Preview of the Essay Example: Generative AI, Bias, and Safety